Are you tired of chasing women, only to lose their interest once you’ve caught it? Let’s face it: keeping a woman’s attention in our fast-paced world can feel like trying to catch smoke with your bare hands.
Many guys think women are getting tougher to impress, but the truth is women haven’t suddenly become more difficult to attract. The psychology of attraction hasn’t changed much over the decades. The same principles that worked in the 1800s still apply today, understanding it will put you ahead of the pack.
If you want to dominate her mind and keep her intrigued, follow these three steps religiously. But remember: these tips only work if she’s already showing a bit of interest. If she’s not feeling it, you might as well save your energy and move on.
Let’s go right into how you can stay on her mind without constantly being in her face.
Be Unavailable
This may sound harsh, but the truth is, that being overly available makes you less desirable. Think about it: You’re forming Mr Lover boy, you’re always blowing up her phone with calls and texts. My brother, you’re no longer a mystery—you’ve become predictable, boring, and, frankly, a bit desperate.
Women don’t want to be your entire world; they want to feel like they’re a part of your world, not the center of it. The moment you make her the sole focus of your time and attention, you lose your power.
A guy who’s focused on his job, chasing his dreams, building his empire, and living life on his terms? That’s the guy she’s interested in, that’s who she wants to compete for. When you give her space, you create curiosity. And guess what? Curiosity keeps you on her mind.
Pro Tip: Remember, you can’t be constantly available and still occupy her thoughts. Let her wonder what you’re up to.
Spend Quality Time with Her
Now that you’ve established some distance, it’s time to make your presence count when you do eventually spend time with her. Quality time is all about giving her your undivided attention—no distractions, no interruptions.
When you’re together, let her do most of the talking. Show genuine interest in what she’s saying; this will make her feel valued and appreciated.
I know you might be thinking, e be like se this guy no sabi Naija women, they play dumb on dates. Well in my experience, I don’t go on dates with girls who haven’t show a bit of interest. If a girl is interested in you, trust me bro, she’ll talk and open up, although you might need to do a little bit of probbing for that.
But here’s the twist: whether on your Suya date or Pepper soup date, stay mysterious. Don’t spill all your emotions on the first date. Let her do most of the talking, while you stay the cool, calm, and steeze-maintainig guy she’s admiring.
The less you say, the more she’ll want to figure you out. And believe me, once a woman starts working to “figure you out,” you’re already winning.
Be Untameable
This might sound counterintuitive, but hear me out: women find confidence attractive, which sometimes means being untameable. Don’t be afraid to voice your opinions or challenge her thoughts when necessary. This doesn’t mean that you have to be outrightly rude or dismissive; rather, it’s about being assertive and maintaining your individuality.
Nigerian women are used to being put on pedestals by guys who are overly accommodating or submissive (i.e. Simps). By being a little unpredictable and standing your ground, you’ll stand out in her mind as someone who is different from the rest.
And here’s a secret: At the end of every relationship, it’s the annoying guy she can’t forget. Not because he was mean, but because he was bold enough to be himself, unapologetically.
Keeping a woman’s attention is never about playing games; it’s about understanding the dynamics of attraction and connection.
